jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
I wonder if I could sublet my bathtub to anyone.
throwing up turkey will be a nice break from throwing up ramen
She kept screaming "best case scenario"
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
My ex was here I looked him in the eyes when I grabbed some other guy by his belt and dragged him to a room
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
Why can't burritos get me drunk
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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