She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
my parents have to start far too many of our conversations with the sentence "this is an observation, not a judgment" than I'm proud of
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Pretty sure we ruined a bachelorettes life last night
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize
