guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
this old dude from the bar is giving me a ride home in a van, his bumper sticker says " don't laugh your kids could be in here" scary world ou here
As soon as the clock wound down to zero, she declared "HALF-TIME HEAD" and pulled down my pants. After the swallow, she said "BEER CHASER," got me a new one, and asked if she could make me a sandwich. Pretty sure she's lobbying hard for a ring.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
