Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
You slow clapped the stripper last night.
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Somebody put William Shatner singing Bohemian Rhapsody on the jukebox, and the whole bar is about to riot.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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