Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
you stumbled up the stairs in your heels, pulled 23 one-dollar bills out of your bra and then went and puked in the toilet. didnt say a single thing to me the whole time
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
should we try and roll a cross joint since its good friday? you know, for jesus
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
