i just google searched "what time does taco bell open"
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
You took a selfie with my hard dick and sent it to Scott with the caption 'Toldja'. It was hard to forget you're a teenager after that
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
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