idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
Well sure, my hetero side is thrilled, but my gay side is soooo judging
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
you woke up this morning in a laundry basket, only wearing rainboots.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
Randomize
