In the future we'll all be gay
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Woke up to 'distilleries' on the history channel. Proceded to vomit all over the floor. Back on the wagon today.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
