U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
please stop taking shits in my toilet and leaving them there.
Why did every guy I have ever slept with have to come into the library today?
You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I really don't understand how I cannot figure out how to work a fucking can opener when I'm hungover. Yet I still retained the ability to take a perfectly symmetrical picture of my erect penis and send it to every person in Matt's contacts the night before.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
Only you would have to block the fucking governor of Tennessee from reading your tweets
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
You know it's time to call it a night when every guy in the bar (all 3 of them) have seen you naked at one time or another.
Randomize
