I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
she looks like one of those semi-pretty girls that turns into a 9 while she's riding your cock like she's trying to catch a train on horseback.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
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