Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
I tried to get you a girl. They want us to cook breakfast though
Lolll I'll be sleeping
I'm practically buying you a 1 way ticket to pound town.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
i didnt have any regrets until i found out he was a freshman.... and the only reason he got into yale was because of soccer... and he wasnt premed.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wasn't that gone.
Dude, you cried and said how sorry you were when we asked why you had the dip.
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
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