I molested 6 butterflies tonight
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
I just got back to our room ....neither of us spent the night there but both our beds are occupied. send help.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
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