why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
I LinkedIn messaged people about jobs when I was blacked out
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
