when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
When your really high you cant order into a clowns mouth
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
Her boobs take up a lot of room so God had to skimp on the brains
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
My liver and my bank account can't afford another all nighter. Help.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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