So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
so let's talk penis.
my dad is drunk dialing our relatives who are stuck in a blizzard asking them to pick up sun tan lotion for him cause hes too drunk to drive to the store.
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
Is it awkward to pay for your boob job with scholarship money? Either way, it's happening.
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Randomize
