so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Code red. She won't talk to me. Maybe it has something to do with her raccoon eyes. Perry said there was a brief moment of towel fighting until you passed out. Did you draw the turtle on my ass?
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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