If she didn't want me to pass out in her bathroom, then she shouldn't have such a furry rug in there
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Man THE POSTAL SERVICE is awesome when I'm high..... But they suck when I'm sober.
he likes ron paul.... that's all i'm going to say....
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The realization of how permanent those tattoos really were set in this morning... I am SO sorry.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
It's days like today that make me happy I'm not a porn star.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
