Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It all started with sending him a text about Spongebob. It escalated from there.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
I laid naked in his bed as he brought me an ice cream sandwich so I would say everything worked out great
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
I just fell and sprained my ankle in the shower. No, I wasn't having sex. I was doing the time warp. Again.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
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