You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
There are too many people and smells in this elevator for my hangover to handle.
My dog is now used to me drunk singing and sleeps through it. I don't know how I feel about this
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
I'm worried about how taking care of my mom's dog while being on acid will go.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Ohhhhhh, that night......I need to stop drinking, almost all of my conversations that take place Wed thru Sun after 8:30 are one blurry haze.
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
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