im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
i dont even know how to be here
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
No matter how drunk I am or how drunk I'll ever be I love you
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
