thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
It's sad that your definition of adulthood entails banging your boss after getting hammered at happy hour, and putting the tab on the company credit card.
constantly striving to make life awkward and more complicated, one drunk bone at a time.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I woke up this morning with a text from my mom as to why the hell random people were showing up at the house. Turns out nobody came to our house party because I gave them my old address, fuck pre-partying for real
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
