Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
You just had sex during the movie Radio. This is an all time low
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Randomize
