Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
I should have bought two bottles, she left before I could feel her tits...
the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
He fell asleep and I'm awkwardly laying here because all I have to wear is my tutu. I'm pretty sure his roommate is going to be back soon so this should be fun. This is my life now. PS. the background of his phone is a picture of his hedgehog.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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