would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
I mean, we do coke and have sex occasionally...I wouldn't call that a relationship.
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
DUDE EDDIE MURPHY JUST DID A BODY SHOT OFF A HOOKER. IM NEVER COMING HOME
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
Did we have sex last night?
No. You laid in my bed and I brought you taco bell.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Randomize
