I just woke up surrounded in unopened snacks
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
My office already closed tomorrow. I'm bout to get drunk and build a muh fuckin fort. I shall call it "Fort Fuck You, Sandy, You Fuckin Bitch"
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
Perfect. Let's do that. I'm thinking everclear and green dye as our base. We shud start from there
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
We can stop fighting if you send me a picture of your dick standing at full attention wearing a sock.
I'll wait.
It can also be a hat.
Just got a Lifeproof case for Christmas so hold on and tell me how my shower nudes look
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
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