I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
This is your morning-after text courtesy of your very confused friend!! :) To discuss "what the hell were you trying to tell me last night," press 1. To laugh over your drunken antics, press 2. To pretend like none of it even happened (or to respond with concurrent confusion because you have no idea), press 3.
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
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