you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Hot mess moment: I just made really spicy guac and picked my nose, which set it on fire. I tried to neti pot it with a coffee pot, which resulted in me gagging and puking all over my bf's bathroom. oopsie.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
I think I caught your cold through my vagina. It was worth it.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
