Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
He just keeps repeating "this isn't my bagel".. i'm worried for his safety
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
yea, she was legit pissed that her rasberry vodka ice cubes never actually froze. but we couldnt convince her otherwise.
Skipping class. Wanna Drink now?
yea. just give me 15 min to write a paper.
Randomize
