there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
I'm not giving my ex her earrings back. If some chick i hated gave me brownies i would still eat them. It's the same thing.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
Bren left me with a lovely parting gift. Newfouund alcoholism. I'm on the kitchen floor, hugging a bottle of vodka. It's my only friend now.
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
I have seriously seen way too may DIY cut off jean booty shorts and half shirts on fat girls this summer. Fuck you Pinterest.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Randomize
