not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I set the bag of cheetos on the open box on my coffee table while I was watching TV. I was so high I ate half of the styrofoam peanuts in the box by accident. Am I going to die?
I hope so
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Went home w the NY Islander in a NY Rangers jersey, needless to say he was pissed
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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