I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I have a great idea. you just need to get pregnant.
Mother, no, i will not talk about this again. Please stop planning my unborn daughters life. I will not put her in pagents. That is trashy. Stop watching toddlers in tiaras. It is also trashy. I love you.
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
Yes. We drank 3/4 of a handle of vodka, fried and ate a 3lb package of bacon, I tackled the neighbors snowman, made snow angels in our underwear, and then fucked all night. Christmas success.
Do pleather leggings scream im easy on a first date?
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Note to self don't stop having sex during an earthquake! I call it a 6.1 orgasm!
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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