Whoa Z and x make the same sound
I decided to name her "day after thanksgiving" because I am sure I just got someone elses leftovers.
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Being the hot sister definately has advantages, I'm pretty sure I ruined her engagement
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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