I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
I spilled a whole plate of queso and salsa on my bed so I'm just eating it off my sheets with chips. How's your night going?
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Holy shit he’s stupid hot! If you don’t hurry up and make a move my ovaries are going to march over there and introduce themselves
death, taxes, and me drunk texting you are 3 certainties in life
Randomize
