Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
If I remember taking any of my finals after tomorrow night, it will not have been a successful night.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You should be able to leave recommendations on Tinder.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
A good example of deductive reasoning: Knowing that when my girlfriend texts me "I promise not to smoke all your weed!" that she is...at that VERY moment...Smoking All Of My Weed.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
