I am in a vortex of obligation.
that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I decided to have standards now that i've graduated. No guys without a bed frame.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
yesterday you declined a drink because you "didn't want to be responsible for it" ok kanye...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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