question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
i think I'm just gonna buy a new vibrator, body pillow, some guys cologne to spray on it, a life time supply of wine and weed and be done with all this shit
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Fuck it, I'm going to make my own dick pic album since iOS 10 won't do it for me.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
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