I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I think my fart just growled at me.
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Seriously what kind of college town is this? Nobody parties during the week or abuses perscription drugs
I woke up surrounded by goldfish. Thank God my laptop was here too. Now I don't have to leave my bed all day.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
