i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
We had sex in the ocean but the tide took our clothes away too. Its no fun walking back to the dorm wearing only a beach blanket between you.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
Just try not to burn your pubes off with sparklers this year.
No promises
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
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