absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I cleared a drunken path to my bed for you. If you hit clothes you've gone too far.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
of course not. I do my best teaching on a hungover monday. I did the research. im still okay with the direction in which my life is headed.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
So I just went to clothing optional bar
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
