if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
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