I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
I like one night stands...theyre like crushes for big kids
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
Sorry blacked out and lost my phone. Judging by the looks of my body I fought a cat and fell into a bush.
He has what he calls a "Ben Franklin". It's a pubic hairdo based on the man himself; long on the sides and bald in the middle.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
The cop was standing next to me when I texted "haha" to your phone...didn't realize that he had taken it already...
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