my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I literally just wrote "I'm sorry" in my blue book, got up and walked out
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Didn't I tell you I have developed a shameless theory about farting anywhere and everywhere? I'm too pretty so no one suspects me.
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
