Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
