Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
WTF why am I in the Atlanta airport?
So baked. Thought the twigs on the sidewalk were caterpillars with the ability to harden in self defense. Had to pick one up to be sure.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
Hiding in the clothes rack at walmart like a 4 year old. Already scared 3 people. New fav weekend activity
I got 87 likes on my changed relationship status. It's official. I'm way more fucking awesome single.
They're mostly guys
Early bird gets the worm.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
