I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
I just mistook a monk for someone with the newest colored snuggie.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Sorry I had passed out by this time I think, with the chicken fingers ON my face in my bed, with all the lights on, and ketchup all over.
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
My apologies. I'll try not to let my dick interfere with official work duties in the future.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
