Well I'm going to a gay club in my banana suit. You should come. My bro is going as a pirate. I don't know if there's a theme.
moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I'm sorry I put my balls through your watch. On another note your roommate had them on his shoulder too sry
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
Terrible idea I love it
Randomize
