I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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