I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Babe. Honestly. Trust me. Your balls are not that big. And i'm eager.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
alcohol and riverdancing are a dangerous mix. have a spraind ankle. i die now
It's five in the morning. wtf?
PUT DOWN THE JOINT AND STEP AWAY FROM THE TRUSTAFARIAN
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
