11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
260 beers this month. I need a new hobby.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
Ohh I see how it works, eat pussy and I get Reese's pieces.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
For future reference: bathtub full of cheeseburgers = win.
Randomize