Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
I just watched someone put a diaper on a cat..I'm to high for this.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Randomize
