I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Just sponge bathed with a swissper. Thrush inevitable. Shaking.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
This country song on the radio just had a rap break. What. No. Why.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Randomize
