I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
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