I think scott just propositioned me for sex
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
So basically he tried to get out of the car and crawl on the highway with the broken leg because he didn't want to go to the hospital. It was not a good time...then we got pizza though.
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
Home. Hour long discussion with mom. Very frightened. Eating a sausage. Don't remember making it. Confused.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
I would ride that face into the sunset
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
