you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
Randomize
