wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
Randomize
