Should I shave my pubes in the shape of a top hat so I can nickname my junk Abe Lincoln?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
