I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We smoked a bowl, ate popcorn, and watched her lava lamp for an hour. it was a quality bonding experience
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
That does it. We're drinking til we're pirates.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I re-seduced my fuck buddy...must be the luck of the Irish!
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Randomize
