It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
She's in the bathroom crying cuz she can't get the condom out of her giner. Do you have tongs?
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
You decided that walking wasn't in the cards for you anymore
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
My professor just paused class to answer a phone call from her dog. Im taking shots before this class from now on.
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
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