So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
