oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
then my gynecologist said "its like opening up buried treasure"
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
I take your lack of response to mean that your hands are taped to 40 ounces of something.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
I was expecting it to be of the "I am your vagina's reckoning" caliber.
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Giving you good advice and being naked are not mutually exclusive.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
And thanks for putting me in that safety position on the bathroom floor while I was spooning the toilet
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
He dicked me, fed me creme brulee, and didn’t make a big deal out of me causing a flood to come outta my vagina
Marry him NOW
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