I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Reasonably certain my seventh grade teacher is encouraging me to drop acid on twitter
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
I gave her two orgasms and then we laid there and she ate jelly beans out of my belly button...that girls a keeper
I currently don't understand fingers.
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