Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Listen the way I know if I'm drunk is if I have stage fright in the pisser if I do then I'm not drunk! And I definitely still do right now!
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I just woke up tangled in fishing line while wearing someone else's bathing suit with fishes drawn all over me. What kind of sex did we have?
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
I was going to try being motivated today. But then I took a hit while still in bed.
Randomize