Whatcha textin bout Willis?
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
In a meeting with the accounting department. This shit is even more boring in real life and there isn't a professor to wake me up.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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