i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
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