no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
Ran into his sister at the gym and hit it in the parking lot. I dont even feel like a bad friend she got a boob job and lost 20 lbs its not even the same sister
My whole house smells like Spaghetti-Os and cat litter. I think I've failed as an adult.
The homeless woman that called me a "dirty looking cunt" the other day, was standing outside Starbucks today with a sign that said "Jesus loves you."
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Opening my shipments of mascara and nipple pasties this morning like a boss bitch
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