we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
So I think I just got a job offer from the guy I used to blow. See, networking pays off.
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
They never prepare you for how broke ur gonna be in college. I just accepted money from two underage girls at a gas station to buy them beer only because I'm trying to figure out a way to run off with it without them noticing.
Dude, use it to buy them beer. Then run the beer to ur car as fast as you can and bring it to the party. Seriously, we're running out of booze over here
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
