Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
So much Jack, so little girl.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Randomize