Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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